Long long long time ago, in the Tropical Rain Forest, there was once a girl named Bravo. She had green hair with red highlights. She had green eyes, a pointed nose and elvish ears. Her skin was like mustard and her cheeks were as smooth as a baby’s bottom. She was as tall as a Beagle and had a heart of clouds. She was the fairest of them all.


Her home was an Igloo and she had Goldilocks as her bodyguard. She was dating the most wanted man in the universe, the Terminator and they had ten little butterfly babies. How precious? They were so rich that they bought the Fiji Islands and owned all Uranium mines in Namibia. Bravo and her family’s diet mainly consisted of fish tails, nectar with a pinch of garlic.


One day hot day, the Terminator’s grandmother, Marilyn Monroe, paid the family a visit. She was very angry at Bravo because Bravo went to the moon without her last Christmas. Bravo then told her that she ran for president and won the election, therefore, they can go up to the moon next holiday.


The Terminator didn’t come home one night and Bravo became very suspicious. She then heard a loud knocking on the door and ran for the door and dropped her right boob. She caught it just in time as the stranger opened the door. It was the Rock! The hunkiest man on the planet_after her soon-to-be ex boyfriend, the Terminator. The Rock then told her to hurry to his car because he has to show her his big toe. She got into the car and massaged his appendix. The Rock found this arousing and smacked her on her ankle as a sign of “Let’s get it on!”. Bravo, still holding her boob, shoved it up his nostril and made a run for it. Goldilocks took her bazooka and shot the Rock in his third head and millions of gummibears shot out all over the place. Euw!


Bravo continued to run for her life until she reached Equator. She ran into Johnny Bravo. He then immediately called the police to arrest Bravo for impersonating him. Awkward right? Bravo unleashed her second boob and threw the third one at the commanders car. His car exploded into thousands of pinatas! YUMMY! The orphaned dolphins ran for the candy and flew south for the winter before they were caught. FREEDOM!


Strangely, Bravo received a phone call from her ex-husband the Easter Bunny. He was reminding her about finalising their divorce papers. They were divorcing because she had half his eggs poached last Easter.Bravo hung up and continued to look for her husband. She sent a telegram to Napoleon Bonaparte asking about herboyfriend’s whereabouts. Of course Napoleon would only have replied three weeks later but by then, it was too late. Bravo received news that he had been poisoned by someone in his household. They apparently put lead in his meals_talk about a thousand ways to die.


Hysterically, Bravo ran and hid behind the Great Walls of China. There she heard giggling and chuckling. She peeped over the wall and saw the Terminator but he wasn’t alone. He was holding hands with Goldilocks in a flirtatious manner and this shattered Bravo’s heart. Bravely, Bravo took Papa Bear’s hot soup and threw it at them. The disloyal couple melted and transformed into turds.


Distressed, Bravo went home to her butterfly babies and packed their cocoons. She wrapped the little ones in silk cloth and shipped them to Atlantis. King Neptune and Ariel adopted them and taught them how to hunt seals. Adventurous!  Bravo disappeared and reappeared in the Bermuda Triangle. No one has ever heard of her since then.


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